Education
Born in Glasgow, Scotland, Beaton was educated at the universities of Edinburgh, Moscow and Bochum and graduated from the University of Edinburgh with First-Class Honours in Russian and German.
(Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his pr...)
Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his previous books, where he first took on the self-help craze then New Labour's addiction to spin, Alistair Beaton now tackles the management gurus. Read this book and you will be transformed overnight into a successful modern manager, capable of talking authentic management bollocks at any hour of the day or night, because, let's face it, talking bollocks is what modern management is all about. Below are a few of the gems contained within THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS...RISK MANAGEMENT Improve risk management outcomes by never investing in anything. INSPIRING OTHERS As a manager, it's your job to inspire others. If there's nothing inspiring about you, just use fear instead.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743404130/?tag=2022091-20
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01K0SHKVS/?tag=2022091-20
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01K3KINFA/?tag=2022091-20
(It is 31st December 1999. For the staff of Globelink News...)
It is 31st December 1999. For the staff of Globelink News it's an uncertain and terrifying world. The civil war in Switzerland is intensifying, and Prime Minister David Mellor is stressing family values. And the editor of Globelink News, George Dent, has just found a dead body in the lift.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316912360/?tag=2022091-20
( Things are not going well for the President of the Unit...)
Things are not going well for the President of the United States. He wants Americans to be adored by freedom-loving people everywhere. Instead, half the planet seems to be in permanent insurrection against US power. What's more, there's a growing environmental crisis that even he can't ignore. At a secret meeting in the Oval Office, the President is persuaded of one simple fact—there are too many people in the world. Only radical action, his advisers say, can deal with the problem. The solution they propose is frighteningly audacious and breathtakingly ruthless. Soon, the President has embarked upon a plan that will guarantee American supremacy for generations to come—or so he believes.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0752865668/?tag=2022091-20
(Showing the same incisive wit and gift for parody that he...)
Showing the same incisive wit and gift for parody that he displayed to such effect in the bestselling THE LITTLE BOOK OF COMPLETE BOLLOCKS, Alistair Beaton now takes on the might of Millbank by exposing the truth behind the spin. By examining closely the speeches of Labour's top politicos he first shows what they said and then reveals what they meant...WHAT HE SAID: The Internet is dissolving physical barriers and levelling the business playing field. (Tony Blair, speech at Knowledge 2000 Conference, 25.03.00) WHAT HE MEANT: I sometimes have trouble with my metaphors. WHAT THEY SAID: Labour has taken action to improve rail safety. (Labour Party Centennial Document, 28.03.00) WHAT THEY MEANT: That nice man from Railtrack bought us lunch and promised us there was nothing to worry about.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743404122/?tag=2022091-20
( Things are not going well for the President of the Unit...)
Things are not going well for the President of the United States. He wants Americans to be adored by freedom-loving people everywhere. Instead, half the planet seems to be in permanent insurrection against US power. What's more, there's a growing environmental crisis that even he can't ignore. At a secret meeting in the Oval Office, the President is persuaded of one simple fact—there are too many people in the world. Only radical action, his advisers say, can deal with the problem. The solution they propose is frighteningly audacious and breathtakingly ruthless. Soon, the President has embarked upon a plan that will guarantee American supremacy for generations to come—or so he believes.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0297847775/?tag=2022091-20
( Fires are becoming something of a problem. But Biederma...)
Fires are becoming something of a problem. But Biedermann has it all under control. He's a respected member of the community with a loving wife and a flourishing business, so surely nothing can get to him. The great philanthropist is happy to meet his civic duty by giving shelter to two new guests but when they start filling his attic with petrol drums, will he help them light the fuse? Max Frisch's parable about appeasement is given its first major UK revival since its Royal Court premiere in 1961, which was directed by Lindsay Anderson. The play is published as a programme text for the production that runs from 1 November - 15 December on the main stage at the Royal Court.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1408103931/?tag=2022091-20
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0108EGONO/?tag=2022091-20
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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001UPJ3XE/?tag=2022091-20
(An outrageously funny satire on modern politics, New Labo...)
An outrageously funny satire on modern politics, New Labour and the fine art of spin Alistair Beaton's hilarious play, part farce, part biting satire, is set in the plush seaside hotel of a party conference. As anti-capitalist riots rage in the streets below, sinister and obsessive press secretary Eddie and young speech-writing aide Paul are trying to finalise the Pm's conference speech. But Eddie's manipulative skills are to be tested far more by the scandal that George, dim-witted lord and close friend of the Pm, gradually reveals - not helped by the arrival of Eddie's ex-wife and investigative journalist, Liz. "Left me sobbing with laughter" (The Times) "Alistair Beaton rediscovers and restores the lost art of political satire in this hilariously timely portrait of new Labour fibbing and deceiving" (Benedict Nightingale, The Times) "Political satire was joyfully restored to the stage last night . . . A satirical treat to savour" (Nicholas de Jongh, Evening Standard)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/041377144X/?tag=2022091-20
(It is sad that the original meaning of bollocks has been ...)
It is sad that the original meaning of bollocks has been corrupted for in this little book lies profound wisdom. After all, size is not everything. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself treats. Leave little love letters to yourself around the house where you can discover them by chance when hoovering. Start your new life now. Don't read the T-shirt. Buy this book. 144 insights that will change your life.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671037676/?tag=2022091-20
Born in Glasgow, Scotland, Beaton was educated at the universities of Edinburgh, Moscow and Bochum and graduated from the University of Edinburgh with First-Class Honours in Russian and German.
At one point in his career he was also a speechwriter for Gordon Brown. He lives in Holloway, London.
(Showing the same incisive wit and gift for parody that he...)
(An outrageously funny satire on modern politics, New Labo...)
(Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his pr...)
(It is sad that the original meaning of bollocks has been ...)
( Things are not going well for the President of the Unit...)
( Things are not going well for the President of the Unit...)
( Fires are becoming something of a problem. But Biederma...)
(It is 31st December 1999. For the staff of Globelink News...)
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