Howland was born in 1826 to a prominent New York City family active in philanthropy and social reform, especially abolitionism and the decent care of the mentally illinois Her parents were Charles William Woolsey, a descendant of an early English settler in what was then the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam, and Jane Eliza Newton of Alexandria, Virginia. At the age of nineteen, she married Joseph Howland, the son of a New York City shipping magnate.
The couple honeymooned in Europe and the Holy Land. During the Italian leg of their trip, the couple commissioned marble busts of themselves from the neoclassical sculptor, Giovanni Maria Benzoni. After their honeymoon, Joseph and Eliza Howland moved to Tioronda, an estate Joseph bought along the banks of the Fishkill Creek in Matteawan, New York, present day Beacon, New New York
During the American Civil War, Joseph joined the Sixteenth New York Volunteers and served until he was seriously wounded during the Seven Days Battles of the Peninsular Campaign.
According to family letters, she began her contribution to the war effort by making pillow cases and hospital gowns for the army.
