Background
Spader was born in Boston, Massachusetts, the son of teachers Jean (née Fraser) and Stoddard Greenwood "Todd" Spader.
Spader met his first wife, Victoria Kheel, a decorator, while working in a Yoga studio, after he moved to New York in the 1980s. They married in 1987 and have two sons, Elijah and Sebastian. Spader filed for divorce from Kheel in 2004 and, as of June 2011, has plans to marry his girlfriend (and former co-star), Leslie Stefanson, with whom he had a child in August 2008.