Harriet Lerner

Background

Harriet Lerner was born on November 30, 1944 in Brooklyn, New York, United States. She is the daughter of Archie Coldhor, an office manager, and Rose (Rubin) Goldhor, an art gallery employee. Harriet has a sister, Susan Goldhor.

Education

In 1966 Harriet Lerner received a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Wisconsin — Madison. In 1967 she obtained a Master of Arts degree from the Teachers College of Columbia University. In 1972 Lerner received a Doctor of Philosophy degree from the City University of New York.

Career

From 1972 to 2001 Harriet Lerner was a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas and a faculty member and supervisor in the Karl Menninger School of Psychiatry. During this time she published extensively on the psychology of women and family relationships, revising traditional psychoanalytic concepts to reflect feminist and family systems perspectives. Dr. Lerner is currently in private practice.

Achievements

• Harriet Lerner is best known as one of American respected relationship experts. Her famous work is "The Dance of Anger" and other bestselling books. It has been translated into more than 35 foreign editions. In 1990 Lerner became a Kansas Woman of the Year. In the same year was established a Harriet Lerner Day by the Governor of Kansas.

Works

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  • Why Won't You Apologize?

    (Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance...)

    2017
  • The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

    (In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The D...)

    1990
  • The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women's Relationships

    (When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discover...)

    1993
  • The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self

    (Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is f...)

    2004
  • Women in Therapy

    (In clear, lively prose, Harriet Lerner takes a bold look ...)

    1989
  • What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Appleseed?

    (When Rosie swallows an appleseed, her sister Katie tells ...)

    1996
  • Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up

    (This marriage book provides couple’s therapy in a unique ...)

    2012
  • Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most

    (With new insights and a results-oriented approach, Dr. Le...)

    1997
  • The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

    (In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Har...)

    2001
  • The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide To Changing The Patterns Of Intimate Relationships

    (Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and al...)

    1985
  • Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

    (Franny B. Kranny's long, frizzy hair is big trouble. It t...)

    2001

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  • The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

    (From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an...)

    1998

Views

Quotations: "Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions."

"Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all."

"If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard."

"Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person."

Membership

Harriet Lerner is a member of the American Psychological Association, of the American Orthopsychiatric Association, and of the Kansas Psychological Association.

Connections

In 1972 Harriet Goldhor married Steve Lerner, a psychologist. They have two children: Matt and Ben.

Father:

Archie Goldhor

Mother:

Rose Goldhor

Spouse:

Steve Lerner

Sister:

Susan Goldhor

Son:

Matt Lerner

Matt Lerner is a co-founder of Walk Score.

Son:

Ben Lerner

References

• Contemporary Authors
  1998