Background
Terrence Real was born in 1950 in the United States.
(A revolutionary and hopeful look at depression as a silen...)
A revolutionary and hopeful look at depression as a silent epidemic in men that manifests as workaholism, alcoholism, rage, difficulty with intimacy, and abusive behavior by the cofounder of Harvard’s Gender Research Project.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC0Q0C/?tag=2022091-20
1996
(Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this g...)
Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this groundbreaking new book, best selling author Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations, a crisis that has lasted more than a generation, yielding divorce rates of 40 to 50 percent.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005YU4C/?tag=2022091-20
2002
(In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguish...)
In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NJL7RS/?tag=2022091-20
2007
(This book offers a solution Bestselling author and nation...)
This book offers a solution Bestselling author and nationally renowned therapist Terrence Real unearths the causes of communication blocks between men and women in this groundbreaking work.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003L77X8Q/?tag=2022091-20
2007
family therapist speaker author
Terrence Real was born in 1950 in the United States.
A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty five years, Terrence Real is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work. Terry also founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology.
A senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. Through his books, the Institute, and workshops around the country, Terry helps women and men, parents and non-parents, to help them create the connection they desire in their relationships.
Terrence Real is highly famous as the author of books How Can I Get Through to You?, The New Rules of Marriage, and I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression. His ideas on men’s issues and on couple’s therapy have been celebrated in venues from the Good Morning America, The Today Show and 20/20, to Oprah and The New York Times.
(Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this g...)
2002(A revolutionary and hopeful look at depression as a silen...)
1996(This book offers a solution Bestselling author and nation...)
2007(In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguish...)
2007Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. Terry’s Relational Life Institute grew out of his extensive and empathic experience. He teaches people how to make their relationships work by providing products and services designed to teach the principles of Relational Life™, so that everyone can enjoy full respect living and craft a healthy life legacy.
Quotations:
“The bonds of silence and protection run deeper, for the moment, than his trust in me.”
“The difference between real acceptance and just backing away from an issue, or away from the whole relationship, is resentment.”
“Women are unhappy in their marriages because they want men to be more related than most men know how to be. And men are unhappy in their marriages because their women seem so unhappy with them.”
“...the most reliable predictor of long-term marital success was a pattern in which the wives, in nonoffensive, clear ways, communicated their needs, and husbands willingly altered their behaviors to meet them.”
“The rule that surpasses all rules is that you must be connected, willing to see what's in front of you, and willing to move if what you're doing isn't working.”
“...strength is not the absence of vulnerability. Strength is knowing what your weaknesses are and working with them.”
“Just as girls are pressured to yield that half of their human potential consonant with assertive action, just as they have been systematically discouraged from developing and celebrating the self-concepts and skills that belong to the public world, so are boys pressured to yield attributes of dependency, expressiveness, affiliation—all the self-concepts and skills that belong to the relational, emotive world. These wholesale excisions are equally damaging to the healthy development of both girls and boys. The price for traditional socialization of girls is oppression, as Lyn Brown and Carol Gilligan put it, “the tyranny of the kind and nice.” The price of traditional socialization for boys is disconnection—from themselves, from their mothers, from those around them.”
“Love is not for the faint of heart.”
“As women shut down their needs, they also shut down their sense of pleasure.”
“Revenge is really a perverse form of communication, a twisted attempt at repair.”
“The paradox of real love is that our capacity to sustain intimacy rests on our capacity to tolerate aloneness inside the relationship.”
“We are so busy attempting to manage the result that we fail simply to run the race.”
“...changing one's own behavior is a much more promising strategy than insisting on change from the other.”
“The romantic vision promises 'shadowless' relationships, but it is precisely by wrestling with the relationship's shadow, with disillusionment, that deep intimacy is sustained.”
“Healthy self-esteem is an internal sense of worth that pulls one neither into “better than” grandiosity nor “less than” shame. But the essence of psychological patriarchy is the nonexistence of such middle ground.”
“The romantic love story is a paradoxical fusion of two extraordinarily potent messages. The first is that love, deep connection, is the most important, indeed the only truly important matter in the world. And the second is that true love cannot exist in this world.”
“Only after giving up 'the truth' can we learn to speak our truth.”
“Despite all of their flaws and difficulties, these men don't want to walk out on their own lives, leave their wives and children. They want to come home.”
“Through the mechanism of carried shame and carried feelings, the unresolved pain of previous generations operates in families like an emotional debt. We either face it or we leverage our children with it.”
A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” as described in The New Rules of Marriage, Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
Terrence Real lives with his wife, family therapist Belinda Berman, and their two sons in Newton, Massachusetts.
